Emotions: Get a hold of them Erica!

I should be happy. During the past few weeks I've had a lot of emotional ups and downs. I've come to realize that during your Peace Corps service, your emotions become very heightened. Highs are very high and lows are extremely low.

Like I said before, I should be happy. Here are some of the things going on in my life:

• I finished a successful 1 week Teacher Training @ my College. 
• I conduct a Teacher Training once a week @ Gogol Library
• I'm doing a series of Lectures for Black History Month @ Gogol Library and on Feb 28^th I'm having a Trivia Competition.
• English Club at my College every Thursday
• Grammar Club every Sunday
• Women’s Club every Sunday
• Debate Club every Sunday
• I'm doing many projects for VAC (Volunteer Advisory Committee)
• Oh yea…teaching English. January was slow, but I'm doing that again too.

I'm sure there is more that I'm forgetting.

So whats the problem?

Well let me compare this to my life in America. In America, there were many things in my life occurring simultaneously not relating to work. Working at Credit Suisse in recruiting was a big part of my life, but I also had many friends to hang out with, bday parties, engagement and baby showers, family holidays, church events, etc. I felt like I had a holistic life with many opportunities for happiness. If something went wrong (or great) at work, it didn’t effect me as emotionally bc there were so many other stimulants in my life that would be a counterbalance.

In Peace Coprs… you life is your work. Its usually said that you are representing Peace Coprs 24/7. You want to make sure you’re giving/showing your best. So there is pressure.  And you are so far away from all those other stimulants. You constantly think about why you are here and how much you want to have an impact. It becomes your life. You are living out a purpose 24/7, where everything you do effects your ultimate goal. Living with a host family, dealing with locals, succeeding at work, doing secondary projects, being the best volunteer ever, not wanting to quit, all become measurements of success. So when you don’t have a good lesson, you feel like your drifting away from being successful, when you complete a new project, you feel like you are almost there.  All those things I listed above become a measure of how successful my life is.

But God is good. He helped me out of my funk last week. He reminded me that although I am representing Peace Corps 24/7…I have a bigger task, a more joyful task, a loving and righteous task. To represent HIM. And representing HIM is not an arduous task. And I don’t mean that I'm doing missionary work in Kazakhstan, bc I'm not. (by the way Peace Corps is not a religious or political organization) What I mean is my life is supposed to be a representation of the joys of knowing a loving God through Jesus Christ. And knowing that I am a child of God means: I always win, everything I do is blessed, everything I do is for good, I exude joy and happiness, I don’t need to worry, I'm slow to anger, I'm quick to love, I ALWAYS forgive, and I will NEVER EVER fear those who try to do me harm, slander my name, sabotage me, take advantage of me, or who are just plain rude!

So remembering these things has given me a whole new perspective of my purpose here in Kazakhstan. I don’t need to be sad. But I need to rejoice in every situation and take advantage of every situation to do good. No Stress in that, bc that’s what I would be doing in America or anywhere else in the world.

Keep me in your prayers. Thanks for your chat Lisa!!!

Love Life and Be Blessed

Erica